As some of you may remember, I wrote about Christians and “Sex & the City” a few days ago based on this theory that there are Christians that exist that believe it is inappropriate for other Christians to watch. So here I am, post “SATC” eating a Magnolia cupcake to give you the rundown on exactly how the movie moved me…To tears even…
You see, while “SATC” the show was largely about four single women–for most of the run of the show–having premarital sex, drinking Cosmopolitans, buying expensive clothes and messing up just about any semblance of a good relationship, the movie was about so much more and certainly had some redeeming qualities. It was about the pursuit of true consuming love, reconciliation, miraculous happenings and self-realization. It was about four women who we have watched over the past ten years actually come to grips with who they really are and what they really want out of life and to me that was real.
Yes I fully recognize who I am in Christ and how some of the things that they did throughout the course of their fictitious lives would surely not line up with what I know to be true according to the word of God but I also recognize who I am as a single woman. That movie resonated so deeply with me because I saw a part of myself in each of those women, the hopeless romantic in Charlotte, the realist in Miranda, the minx in Samantha and carefreeness of Carrie. We all have a little bit of those women in us.
And seeing such a closely knit group of friends makes me remember how important our pursuit of love is not only when it comes to pursuit of a soulmate but the pursuit of girlfriends who will be there through thick and thin. Those friends and family are part of the foundation of our building healthy love. Those friends are the ones who God sends into our lives to be his earthly angels.
I don’t want to get too carried away, but I say all of this to say that this is a phenomenal movie for the single and committed woman alike. There’s so much to learn if you would only step beyond what you think you know about “SATC” and see if you can glean more than you ever have before.
While waiting for the train last night I encountered what I thought was an endangered species.
I was chatting with my friends and had my shopping bag resting on one of the seats of the bench in the waiting area when an older black man came up with a daughter in tow. Since my bag was occupying the seat that was next to him I removed it so that his daughter could sit down. No sooner than I placed the bag on the floor, the man asked my friend where she was from and then he asked me where I was from. After I told him he started to ramble on about people and where they are from and how he can tell when someone is not from New York. In the midst of all of his babbling my friends and I were silent. We stared at each other because we were truly baffled.
The man continued his foolish talk as he looked at me and tried to pry to find out where I was really from. He asked me if there was a problem because I moved my bag–unbeknownst to him, I moved the bag so his daughter could sit down but he was too dense to realize that.
Finally I was saved by the bell when the alert for the train’s arrival went off. But as I walked away from this man–did I mention that he had approximately four teeth in his mouth he said “Why don’t you stop trying to act white and act black?” I didn’t respond to his question. I didn’t even pause to look back at him and shake my head. I just kept walking forward in disbelief that people who think like that still exist. (more…)
When I lived in Orlando, I used to hear this song playing in the background at a hair salon I used to go to sporadically–when I was younger I went to hair salons as often as people get colonics (for most that isn’t often). Each time I went, regardless of the length of time between, they would play this song without fail and be so excited about it, bopping to the beat and humming along while pressing and curling. I couldn’t understand what they were saying but it seems to really resonate with the stylists.
Fast forward to about ten years later…I came upon a Trin-I-Tee 5:7 album at work. It was on our giveaway table, so I decided to save it from the fire. I don’t think at the time I knew they were the same group that sung the hair salon song, but when I played the CD later on at home, it all came back to me. But this time, the words were so much clearer because it was so much a part of what I go through on a day to day basis.
Now there are some that might think they skewed a little too secular in the video what with the dancing and the members of the group looking more like R&B songstresses–oh and let’s not forget J.Moss trying to make his mark as the P.Diddy of the gospel music industry. But the message is very clear, never let life get you down and always remember to build your hope on things eternal remembering God has got it all under control at the end of the day and always.
So here it is:
This afternoon a colleague leaned over and told me that she had a friend who said she couldn’t find another girl to go and see “Sex and the City” with. Her friend remarked “I hung out with too many Christians in college and goody two shoes.” My colleague tried to convince her friend that you don’t have to be non-Christian to like “Sex and the City” but I worry that her friend probably may think there is something wrong with her watching the show. Even my colleague admitted to sometimes feeling strange watching these grown women run around, loose and as fancy-free as they want to be. And this isn’t new thought.
There are many [Christian] men and women that believe it is wrong for Christians to watch “Sex and the City.” Somehow they’ve gotten it in their minds that one 2 hour and 30 minute moment of cinematic time will forever change the trajectory of one’s Christian walk. Maybe we will go from saving ourselves for marriage to sleeping with the first man we see on our way out of the theatre. Maybe we’ll start consuming copious amounts of Cosmopolitans. Maybe we’ll stop tithing in favor of buying a pair of Christian Louboutins. Maybe we will convert to Judaism because we found the man of our dreams—would it be so bad if he were Messianic? (I kid, I kid.)
Now on one hand I can say, “I get it” to the people that would find it harmful for Christians to watch the show or the movie. I can see how the mature adult themes, sexual content, strong language, and other rating prerequisites would give some Christians pause. Everything that happens in any show and possibly the movie could leave an indelible impression on some Christians. But in that case I wonder if the burden of responsibility should be on the viewer and not those who vehemently oppose it. I am saying what I need to hear too because I know I can be very intense and imposing upon people that do things I believe are contrary to the Christian faith. But what I also acknowledge is that some of us can watch “Sex and the City” and not be tainted and some of us can’t. We are all wired differently and equipped to handle things differently so who am I or anyone to judge. I think the biggest lessons any of us can learn about the dangers of secular entertainment in the life of Christians is that it is our responsibility to hold our brothers and sisters accountable and at the same time encourage them to look deeper for themselves. It is our job to alert them to the possible dangers. It is our job to share with them something God revealed to us about the music, movie, TV shows, books, magazines, etc that the world at large consumes but that we need to be much more cautious about.
So I say all of this to say it is important that we activate our discernment radars on everything that we consume and be sure to follow God’s lead. It is great if our friends can clue us in to something we were blind to but it is of utmost important that we be tapped into the ultimate source to discern what may be right or wrong for us.
And lest I be remiss, for anyone that may come upon this post, I want to know if you think it is right or wrong for Christians to indulge in “Sex and the City?” And that means the show, not the concept—even though I know there are definitely some Christians getting there sex in the city on.
For the past couple of months I have been dealing with a hairstylist that specializes not only in great hair but great harassment. It begun as a nice relationship where I would come in to get my hair done every two weeks, but somehow she took my coming in with such regularity as a sign that I would always come in every two weeks. Recently she has moved on to assuming I am coming in every two weeks even when I don’t call to make an appointment. I realized she was getting much too comfortable with me when I received a text one Saturday morning that said:
“I thought you were coming in this morning. I am here until 5:30, let me know when you are coming in. Please let me know what’s up.”
I was shocked and quite annoyed that she assumed I was coming in even when I didn’t make an appointment. It took me a while to bounce back from this message until I thought about it and realized that she depends on clients like me to maintain her livelihood. Without my $75 she might not be able to make rent on her chair and if she doesn’t make rent on her chair, she can’t make rent on her home. But then I thought “I depend on me for my livelihood and there are times when I’d rather not pay $75 every two weeks to get my hair done because I have other expenses.” After all this internal dialogue, I told her that I wouldn’t be making an appointment for a few weeks because I was busy with other commitments–and this was a true statement. I left it on a “Don’t call us, we’ll call you” tone. I thought she would get the point…
Days later–even though I told her I would be going out of town–she texted me again to find out when I am coming in. At this point I was incredibly frustrated because it appeared that she was not understanding the importance of letting me have the upper hand in the relationship. This is a business relationship and I can choose to not see her whenever I want. We have no written agreement that says I will see her every two weeks. I felt like I was going through follicular harassment. And so, in my response, I repeated again that I am going out of town and will not see her for another week.
The story goes on from here and even includes her harassing another friend of mine whom I referred to her. So, needless to say she is skating on thin ice. She has texted me twice this week and I finally told her I will not be seeing her and I will contact her to schedule an appointment. I am deeply disturbed by her tactics to get clients into the salon without considering what is appropriate contact. Because of this she may be on the verge of losing a client. And the really sad thing is, she is a great stylist. But no amount of knowing your way around an ionic flat iron and expensive styling products can make up for lack of tact.