Earlier this week I was having a discussion with my roommate about romantic relationships in the church. Specifically, people’s need to keep their relationships secret until they announce their engagement. Why is that necessary? I’m not knocking the process and truth be told, I may do the same thing. But I want to know why people find it necessary, almost like it’s a part of some unofficial protocol, to keep their relationships within the church a secret.
I have heard from some people that they keep it secret because they don’t want the haters intercepting their relationship, but really, if it’s a relationships that God ordained, no man can put it asunder. All this coming in separate cars, walking in at different times, sitting on opposite sides of the church, and the like seems tiring.
Some people stay undercover because they are still trying to figure out what they are. Ok, that’s fine, but in the midst of trying to find out what you are to each other, wouldn’t it be helpful to let some folks know so at the very least they can offer wise counsel and pray for you?
I think that people think that as soon as they get into a relationship in the church they automatically think people are going to be in their business. Not just people, an entire congregations worth. Maybe I am naive, but I just don’t believe that many people care. Yes, there will be naysayers and there will be people who will still try to try their luck with you, but I know we are all stronger than our adversaries. Who cares what other people think about your relationship? Outside of your pastor, your parents and your closest friends, everyone else’s opinion is inconsequential.
And maybe there is something I am missing, like a Bible verse that says when a man and woman meet and date in the sanctuary they should hide it from the world outside of them until that time when God has let them know that it shall be a union in marriage. I don’t know. It’s just one of those things that makes me go, “Hmmm…”
Plus, when men and women who are dating each other, don’t at least send a smoke signal that they are in a relationship–like the ones who are dating but have yet to change their Facebook status to “In a Relationship” they are deceiving us single folks that are still looking at them like there is some hope. So if not for the haters, let folks know you are dating–we don’t have to know who–but just let us know so we can keep it moving.
But really, can someone explain to me the romantic church relationships shrouded in secrecy?