The Loudmouth Protestant

August 13, 2007

Sobbing in Singleness

Filed under: christianity,love,singleness — nickisym @ 8:12 pm

Yesterday morning as I sat waiting for the bus something unusual happened. This woman came up to me and tried to hand me a tract. I’ve seen her on many occasions before, but I usually took the tracts deciding not to decline. But on this particular day, I felt that I needed to help her save paper by giving it to someone who really needed to read the fundamental message that Jesus Christ died for our sins and only he can make us whole. So as she reached in her bag to hand me a tract, I swiftly put my hand up and declined. She then asked me if I was saved and I told her “yes.” She said “God Bless You, you hold on to that salvation.” She proceeded to walk away but then she doubled back and told me this:

“If you are praying to God for a husband, keep on praying and wait on Him. Don’t try to go out there and get one for yourself. And don’t worry about what everyone else has and how fast they got it. You just know that God’s a keeper…”

As she—Donna, we exchanged names because she wanted me to keep her in prayer and vice versa—continued to street sermonize me, I was taken aback at God’s ability to use the most unlikely people to speak into my life. This is the same woman that used to just hand me tracts and not say a word, but when presented with the opportunity to speak, she let herself be an oracle of God.

Now, my singleness is a topic I bring up periodically and since my last post on singleness I have been coping very well. God has given me a certain peace about it and I just haven’t thought about it. But after Donna’s words I did think about it again and it brought a mist to my eyes. Actually it was a waterfall. I sat there on the bus crying for reasons unbeknownst to me. Was I crying because I am single? Crying because I feel like I’m losing my best friend in the world? Crying because maybe I am starting to realize I am bound to singledom? I seriously don’t know why.

So I sat there in a puddle of tears for the second day in a row at the thought of singleness. The first day in misty-eyed contemplation took place at my dearest friend’s bridal shower. We were closing out in prayer and each one of us prayed for her. While each person in the circle prayed—quite a few of whom were married—I asked God to give me strength to hold myself together just long enough to get through the prayer and not fall apart. He did indeed keep me until the last minute of my prayer when everything became inaudible, my tear ducts flooded, I hyperventilated, my nose ran, etc. It was like the ugly prayers that my young adult pastor says we all need to have in our private time. There it came out in the midst of a group of woman that I don’t know and after all was said and done, I felt a little at odds because the emotions that overcame me were so inexplicable.

I’m better today. Not crying although I got a little emotional as I wrote this. I chock it all up to a regular emotional catharsis during singleness or maybe raging hormones…



  1. I’m probably not qualified to comment on this post, but I’ll share my thoughts based on a sermon I recently heard.

    The preacher said that we can’t listen to the lies of the devil. If we do, we waste our grace. The devil’s lie is, ‘being a single adult is a bad thing and there must be something wrong with those who are single adults.’ But this is a lie. This is a worldly idea.

    I know there’s a double standard for men and women. But that’s the point; there’s a double standard because the idea is based on a lie. Men are not as susceptible to that lie but there are many others that plauge us just the same. (eg. Napoleonic behavior , money/car=women issues, hair envy, etc.) These lies are designed to distract us from the real issue: using our grace. Don’t let a lie waste your grace.

    Comment by Jay — August 13, 2007 @ 9:32 pm | Reply

  2. But the strange thing is, I don’t think I was crying because I think my singleness is a bad thing. I have long since acknowledged that it isn’t, it’s only something the enemy tells us is bad. And of course according to Paul it is more favorable than being married. I think it is because it also seems that people continue to speak about in regards to my life as something to acquire. There are many other things the woman at the bus stop could have told me but she decided–or actually she said God told–that I need to continue to pray for a husband and wait on Him. It’s just too strange…

    Comment by loudmouthprotestant — August 13, 2007 @ 10:13 pm | Reply

  3. That is strange…I’m a fan of chocking it up to raging hormones :). But seriously, coming off of a major planning of a bridal shower and dealing with all of this “weddingness,” and then a stranger tells you to wait on God for a husband, I can understand how that might be emotionally overwhelming. I still remain that I don’t believe it’s God’s desire for us to simply “wait” on a husband. I truly believe that God’s desire is for us to want and love God so much that if and when he blesses us with a relationship, we’ll still have our priorities in order. But I think the word “wait” just has too many inaccurate connotations attached to it. Like do we “wait” on God like we “wait” for a train or bus? Literally doing nothing but sticking our head into a tunnel every two seconds as if headlights were going to magically appear in the two seconds we were looking at our watch? We still have to live, don’t we? Our lives need not cease developing because we don’t have something we want? I wonder what the Hebrew for wait literally means…

    Okay, my very brief internet research reveals that the Hebrew word for wait is, “qwh” or “mekhake,” which means “to twist or bind, whence a rope” indicating an intertwining of one’s life with something else, so when we “wait” on God, we are intertwining His will with ours and vice versa, thereby making our faith stronger. This is how He renews our strength, (in reference to “Heaven can’t wait”) because we are active in connecting and wrapping ourselves up in Him. So in essence, Donna was right, we should “wait” on God in all areas of our lives, but this “waiting” is an active expression of our faith and seeking God with our whole hearts. That makes me happy 🙂

    Comment by Tarani — August 16, 2007 @ 1:55 pm | Reply

  4. […] I wiped my eyes and thought about what I heard and I thought about the implications of my incessant sobbing over my singleness.  It’s true, there is a part of me that doesn’t believe God will come through for me […]

    Pingback by The Language Of Tears « The Loudmouth Protestant — September 24, 2007 @ 2:24 pm | Reply

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