The Loudmouth Protestant

September 20, 2007

Therein Lies the Problem…

Filed under: God,life,relationships,singleness,waiting on God — nickisym @ 3:43 pm

A few hours into my visit home for my friend’s wedding has given me some real insight into why single people feel the burn while in their singleness.

As I stood in the service department of my car’s dealership, I was telling my mother about a conundrum that had come up with the color of the groomsmen’s ties not matching the bridesmaid dresses. I then told my mom that the bride was actually in the process of getting her marriage license, to which my dad said, “Ahh, the greatest thing in life.”

I was immediately taken aback at this comment because after years of being single, I don’t acknowledge marriage as the greatest thing one can achieve in life.

Then on the way home it happened again as I told my parents what some of my high school friends were up to. I remarked at how they are all married with children and how it’s funny how time changes things. Then someone replied, “That’s life.”

Of course my impulse was to rebuttal and say “That isn’t life.” But thankfully my mother cleaned up the statement and said “For those who are fortunate.” Shortly afterwards she mentioned a survey where the consensus was that married people lived longer. At this point I was ready to throw my hands up but then I realized that this is the problem.

Not only do most single people have folks asking them why they are so–as if it is some disease, but then they have to deal with statistical data that says they might not ever get married–you know the stupid one that says 49% of black women aren’t married and might not ever be–what is the margin of error on that?

It’s really too much when faced with the thought and this is where I believe other people must learn how to measure their words carefully. We are to use our mouths to speak life to one another and that includes how the married folks speak to single folks and how single folks speak to one another.

None of us have to struggle in singleness, but somehow the enemy puts these stumbling blocks of using our closest family members and friends to trip us up.

Being single is okay. You can be happy in singleness. You can buy a house, a car, a dog and a diamond in singleness, if you would stop listening to what the world around you is saying.

Be comfortable in whatever season you are in and God will do the rest.


1 Comment »

  1. Very well spoken and I for one could not agree with you more. It is because I believe this is probably why I have been happily married for 16 years with one daughter 10 years of age. Marriage is not an institution and it is not meant to be an escape from feelings of loneliness. Rather a commitment by two to enrich each others lives.

    Never should anyone allow societal norms govern their path in life. Live and be merry I say.


    Comment by William — February 15, 2009 @ 5:58 pm | Reply

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