The Loudmouth Protestant

September 24, 2007

The Language Of Tears

Filed under: christianity,friends,God,relationships,singleness,waiting on God — nickisym @ 2:23 pm

This was the weekend of my best friend’s wedding, so it was to be expected that I would end up an emotional mess. For over five years, she has been like a sister to me and has stuck with me through thick and thin and I to her. I was already emotional when she told me she was engaged…Imagining a life without being able to knock on her door at any given moment and talk was daunting. The prospect of not have my ace boon koon by my side was scaring me to death. After much sobbing the day after the wedding, my mother clued me in on something. She met my friend a few weeks ago when we all went to Jamaica and she told me that she understands why I am so sad because my friend was more than a friend, she was a sister to me. And it all made logical sense. But this isn’t even what this post is about…

On topic…

After my maid of honor speech and before I cut a rug I rushed to the bathroom all misty eyed–mind you I cried during my speech. On my way to the restroom, an older woman stopped me and told me that I would be blessed with a wonderful man just as my friend was. She also told me that I will have children despite my saying I don’t like them. When I finally reached the bathroom,  there were many of my friend’s family and friends in the bathroom and they knew where I was emotionally. Having mentioned my singleness and how I hope to be blessed with a similar sanctified relationship as my friend had been, they know where I was coming from. Some told me my speech was great, others told me to stop crying because my day was coming soon and others just smiled at me. But when I hit the stall it was like no one said anything of substance to me because I let it rip–not loudly though, I wouldn’t want them to think I was crazy.

As I sat there on the john, I cried and I cried and I cried until I heard something.  I heard of voice telling me to stop crying. And immediately I stopped, but then I was tempted to start again. The voice said “Stop crying,” again and I did. Then the voice said, “You should stop crying because your tears are telling me you don’t believe I am going to do what I promised.” I wiped my eyes and thought about what I heard and I thought about the implications of my incessant sobbing over my singleness.  It’s true, there is a part of me that doesn’t believe God will come through for me in this area of my life. I’ve also been victim to hearing too many contradictory words about singleness in the body of Christ. But at the moment, I decided only one person’s word counts. I received it and I stopped crying for the rest of the night and for a good portion of the last couple of days.

It then happened that as I was driving home after the wedding, a song was put in my head. It was Tonex’s “Cry No More.” The song is actually about losing a loved one to death, but the refrain that played in my head was “God understands the language of tears, he knows all abouts your hurts and your fears.” It blew my mind because at first I wasn’t very sure about why I was crying. I didn’t know whether it was feeling like I lost a friend or feeling like I was destined for singleness forever, but God set me straight and for that I’m thankful.

So the next time you find yourself in a puddle of tears crying about what seems like a overwhelmingly long season of singleness, remember that He will do what He says. And he can do it even more so when you correct your disbelief and doubt and stop crying.


1 Comment »

  1. My two cents is that I hope you realize that you are never alone. With God in your life and your friends, you are not by yourself. There is nothing to be gained to be with someone when it’s not the right time. No one arounds you doubts that you will be single for long because of what they see. So remember that you have already accomplished the hard parts in life; going on God’s path, education, career, good family relationships. Your tears should only be for loss, and at this point in your life you are winning!

    Comment by Kristen Copeland — September 30, 2007 @ 6:31 pm | Reply

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