The Loudmouth Protestant

October 16, 2007

Maybe I’m Selfish

Filed under: christians,food,God,life — nickisym @ 8:37 pm

Back when people used to assign different ringtones for each of their friends, a friend of mine assigned me as Slum Village’s “Selfish.” Now I reckon that I was given that ringtone for other reasons related to the song–pertaining to that person’s relationship with me–but I will not explain that in this post. Nevertheless that was was two years ago that the concept of selfishness and me came together. About two weeks ago I was accused of being selfish because I didn’t want to share my most favorite food in the world with a table of friends.

Side note: No one should even take it personally if I don’t want to share plantains with them. It’s my favorite food on the planet and if I order them for myself and you neglected to order them for yourself, I guess you can consider yourself out of luck. I don’t eat bananas so when I eat plantains–which apparently have double the potassium–I go to town. So, should you ever have the opportunity to dine with me at a restaurant that serves plantains, please get your own. And I digress.

So selfishness is coming back to haunt me and I think today the final nail was driven in the coffin. As I sat at my desk this morning, toiling away at the day’s task, I thought about all of the things I need to do for other people. Things that I am completely obligated to do but I keep on forgetting and letting my own priorities take place. Take for instance my quiet time. It is being severely neglected because of my want of sleep. In the evening I try, but I decide I am too tired to read and sometimes too tired to pray–save for murmurring a “thank you God.” In the morning I hit the snooze button continuously until I know I can no longer hit snooze and I cram my time into a 20-minute block. There are people that need the things that I possess but I am continuously withholding things because of my selfishness.

It’s a hard pill to swallow when God brings a flaw to your attention. But I guess at the very least I know that he is answering my prayers. I asked him to show me where I fail him. Show me what exist within me that is not pleasing to him. Well, I believe he is showing me one of many things. This will take a while to swallow.



  1. Ponder whether your side note remains a resistance against what He is trying to reveal to you. I have more to say but I am running late for work so I will leave you with this: John 15:13. “Greater love has no one than this, that she lay down her life for his friends.” Next time you go out….try giving all of your plantains away. . .to a friend or a homeless person on the street. That for being transparent.

    Comment by Harlem Esquire — October 17, 2007 @ 10:23 am | Reply

  2. Wow Harlem Esquire, I think you may well be right about my side note. When I read it, I barely wanted to swallow the pill of sharing plantains. Truth be told, I don’t like to share food. My school of thought is that if you have a plate in front of you, which you ordered on your own with your stomach in mind, you shouldn’t be concerned about my plate. I guess my pet peeve is people that covet my food–particularly the ones that stick a fork in it as they ask instead of asking straightforward. Or better yet, the people that dance around ordering something and see I ordered what they declined on and then want to be all up in my plate. Yes, I was raised as an only child who had no need to share food with others. But, you are right, I should get over it–or order extra food whenever I go out. 🙂 I’ll take it to heart though. It’s hard breaking a habit like not sharing plantains, they’re so sweet.

    Comment by Loudmouth Protestant — October 17, 2007 @ 12:52 pm | Reply

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