The Loudmouth Protestant

December 13, 2007

The Accutane Account: Day 13: The Process

So it is day 13 on Accutane and I feel like I want to curl up in bed and just sleep until about Day 45. No the Accutane side effects of depression aren’t kicking in, but the side effects of “it gets worse before it gets better” is in full effect. In the middle of last week I noticed that my face was practically throwing up all over itself and I wanted to just die. With each day it has gotten worst, to the point where I don’t want to look anyone in the eye for fear that they will just take pity upon me and throw me a dollar like I am some poor charity case. Yes, it’s an exaggeration but when your face starts to retaliate against you there aren’t many other ways you can feel.

In the midst of having a face that looks like I reverted back to my years in high school–and even then it wasn’t this bad–I started to reflect on what it really means to go through this process. My dear friend reminded me of “the process” when she saw me fretting over my skin on Sunday evening. She said calmly and gently “It’s just part of the process.” She said nothing else but it spoke volumes to the way we as a people deal with “the process.”

Months ago in a sermon a preacher said that we look forward more to the promise than we do the process in regards to the molding that takes place when you enter the body of Christ. We must suffer in this great walk of faith and endure some trial and tribulation in addition to the immense joy that we will experience being in fellowship with God. I know that I always look forward to the end without really paying attention to the process it takes to get there. This is problematic because at this point I am not even preparing myself throughout the process, I am just waiting until the end. In all honesty, I’ve been waiting for five months to get here without really thinking about what it is going to take to get through the five months. I am so hard-pressed for clear skin that I am not even paying enough attention to the fact that there will be some road blocks to my results.

But now, I am taking more time to consider this process especially as it pertains to being patient. Of course I am ansty right now because I want my skin to clear up but I know that I just need to be calm about this situation and realize that this all takes time. So while it is killing me inside–okay I know that is a really severe way to describe it–I am going to hang in there. It’s like Job said “Though he slay me, yet will I trust him.” If I truly believe God intended for me to go through this Accutane course, I have to trust that he’ll never put more on me than I can bear.

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5 Comments »

  1. I feel your anguish, I’m on day 8 and I’m a walking, talking volcano. Another week or two and we’ll be home free (fingers crossed). Hang in there.

    Comment by Tom — February 20, 2008 @ 7:55 pm | Reply

  2. I feel everybody’s pain who is on Accutane, I am currently on day 14 and I feel like crap. I do not want to do much and I am feeling like it is getting worse. I was warned that this would happen, but was only thinking about the end result. I am upset and my optimisim is shot. I know this will work, but right now I am not in the best of spirits.

    Comment by Ginie — June 25, 2008 @ 10:55 pm | Reply

  3. Hi Ginie, I hope that you check back soon. I actually have 10 days until I finish Accutane and the best has surely come. I, like you, felt like absolutely crap when I first started. I felt ugly, lifeless, had no energy but as the months progressed and I learned how to handle myself on the medication things got increasingly better. Now my skin is completely clear and I feel great. Have faith. There’s a scripture that says “Be not weary in well doing for in due season you will reap a harvest if you faint not.” You will get through this!

    Comment by loudmouthprotestant — June 25, 2008 @ 11:01 pm | Reply

  4. The style of writing is very familiar to me. Have you written guest posts for other bloggers?

    Comment by Heartburn Home Remedy — April 15, 2009 @ 8:08 am | Reply

    • Thanks for stopping by and checking me out. I’ve written a guest post for Save the Assistants, am a contributing writer at UrbanFaith.com and an editor at Beliefnet.com, so between those three domains, you may have seen my writing.

      Comment by loudmouthprotestant — April 21, 2009 @ 10:26 am | Reply


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