The Loudmouth Protestant

June 1, 2008

The Charlotte York Principle

Filed under: christians,God,life,love,movies,relationships — nickisym @ 9:49 pm
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Most people have a perfect idea of the qualities they want in a mate. For me, he must be tall and the perfect complexion of buttercream, butter pecan, milk chocolate or dark chocolate. He must have all of his teeth and they must be blindingly white and perfectly straight. He must have the body of a Greek god and be able to hang a suit well. I’d love if he could write poetry and prose. He should read–books not a sports page, not a magazine, but a book. He should appreciate fine dining but also be able to respect that sometimes all I want is chicken wings and french fries from the Ghetto Chinese Spot. He should at least have his bachelor’s degree , be gainfully employed and have real hopes and dreams for his future that he is actually motivated to achieve. He should love to travel, love his parents, love life and most importantly love God. My list of my future husband’s prerequisites could go on and on but what happens when the list that we have made for ourselves has nothing to do with the one God has sent for us. Do we close our eyes to what could be the greatest love of our life because we are searching for our version of perfection or open our arms to the true love that God created specifically for us although he might not be exactly what we planned.

I was confronted with this dilemma this weekend when not one but two of my friends admitted that men who didn’t look like their intended are not the ones who they intend to be with. Based on the cut of these men’s jibs they decided that those men couldn’t possibly be the man that was to be the love of their life. And their statements gave me pause. Why, particularly as Christians but I won’t even limit it to just Christians, do we insist on clutching our own list tight instead of just letting love rule?

Case in point, our dear Charlotte York from “Sex and the City.” For years, the WASPy Charlotte was bound up tight by the list of perfect characteristics her man had to have and in being enslaved to that list she ended up with Trey McDougal, an insensitive “mama’s boy” who was an inadequate lover and not necessarily anything she had planned for when she was writing her prereqs. And then came Harry Goldenblatt who totally turned everything Charlotte had on her mental prereq list on its arse. He didn’t come in the package that she expected, he was Jewish and a bit unpolished, but he was everything that she needed.

And it doesn’t stop at Charlotte York, there are many real people who threw their lists away and awaited true love unrestrained. I myself am learning to let go and welcome what God has in store for me because I know it will be way better than anything my little mind can contrive. 

My mother once told me, when we were shopping for a dress for one of the many homecoming dances I attended, “Everything that looks good to you is not good for you.” When she told me this I rolled my eyes because at that moment it meant that I was getting a Jessica McClintock dress that I didn’t want, but in the end it was a beautiful dress and I looked way better in it than anything I could have picked out myself.  So if my earthly creator knew what was best for me, how much more would our heavenly creator know what is best for us.

So it’s my challenge to everyone-myself included–reading this is to let go of your preconceived notions and let love come to you the way it is supposed to. Stop making the list and checking it twice everytime you meet someone and go on a date. Rather, let God do His thing in making it happen for you.

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1 Comment »

  1. “Everything that looks good to you is not good for you.” yes, god always has the perfect gifts in store for us.

    Comment by stephanie — January 27, 2009 @ 10:28 pm | Reply


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