The Loudmouth Protestant

September 6, 2008

Better to Burn?


Since the announcement of Sarah Palin’s 17-year-old daughter being with child and preparing to marry the father of the child, I’ve been thinking, “Wouldn’t it be better for them not to get married?” Call me an idealist, but I believe that two people need not enter the covenant of marriage unless they love each other, truly, madly and deeply. If there happens to be a child in the midst of that true, mad and deep love, fine. But, do not let the child be the reason for the marriage lest you end up regretting your decision later. And sure, I don’t know either of them and they could really be in love, but because of the way our jacked up society works, I highly doubt it. I get the feeling it’s more of an action meant to save face for the Evangelicals and the Christian morals on the Palin family and their Alaska constituents than it is the mark of true young love. Call me a judge; I’ll talk take this up with God.


There have been many cases of engaged and underage couples that decided they were prepared to take the trip down the aisle because of some lukewarm feelings they had for one another. Maybe they were considering Paul’s words to the church of Corinth when he said it is better to marry than to burn. But, I am thinking, is it better to marry, really?


Bristol and Levi are on my mind primarily, but this morning I was flipping through the latest issue of Essence magazine and I noticed that TD Jakes’ daughter, Sarah, who just got married, is only 19. Now I don’t know if love knows boundaries in regards to age. But somehow, I refuse to believe that a 19-year-old knows what it means to love someone for a lifetime and do the things that need to be done to make a relationships last until death do them part. I am wondering what was going through TD Jakes’ mind when Sarah’s 22-year-old boyfriend asked for her hand in marriage. Or maybe Sarah confessed that she would really like to consummate her relationship and so he recommended a lavish wedding instead so that they could consummate within the will of God just to be safe. But what after the burning is done?


I am starting to think that Paul’s words to the church were all wrong or simply mistaken. To admonish people to get married because they can’t keep their pants up or their legs closed seems ridiculous because then it means that the marriage will-for the most part-be ruled by lust. And if I could be so corny and so hopelessly romantic and so fundamentally Biblical, love conquers all. A marriage based on true love, God’s love, love so passionate it would make you want to burst into flames—not the fleshly Earth, Wind and Fire kind, is the kind that changes lives. So what good is a marriage based on a need to prohibit burning? Or what good is a marriage entered into for the sake of the child and not for the sake of love?


And I may be wrong about all of this but my biggest concern is about people rushing into marriage because of what they think they want–or what others want–instead of what they need. I do pray that TD Jakes’ daughter and her husband stay married for a lifetime. Likewise, I hope that Bristol and Levi make it last forever—with a child sure to be name Atrip. But it’s just things that make you go hmmm.


If you even have the energy after reading this, please let me know your thoughts…  


1 Comment »

  1. Hmmmm….(pause…sigh). Another hmmmmmm….Ok. First, the message from Paul to the Corinthians. His full message had many symbols in it, including dealing with “wholeness,” “righteousness,” and maintaining purity. I do not think Paul was mistaken, although it is hard to determine if we are correctly interpreting him. I can only speak from my spiritual conviction. I think, first and foremost, Paul did not start on love or marriage, but on fornication and the detriment of such to the soul. He admonished the saints to maintain their abstinence and to refrain from sexual immorality. BUT IF PEOPLE MUST HAVE SEX, he then states that it is better to commit such in the confines of the sanctity of marriage–then the legal, and the spiritually appropriate venue to have sex. His reasoning–God, and his blessings are so much bigger than sex. As the Bible illustrates, God does not handle sex lightly—he created it and is was in the midst of it when it consummated Adam and Eve’s union. At the same time, David’s children were cursed because of his lust, Sodom and Gamorrah experienced burning, and Samson suffered being more blind than when he started due to Delilah. Regardless of how man feels about sex, God is not man, nor is he a respecter of man. I think Paul knowing this wanted more for the Corinthians to be spared God’s wrath for their sexually actions–regardless of whether we deem them wrong or not. Getting married is at least an acknowledgment of God’s law and a sign of submission to his commandments.

    Now love….sigh. That is a different subject. I cannot predict when one is ready, or when it will even be right for me. God gives us examples on how to love our potential mates and what a marriage should look like (the best example being the marriage between God and his bride, the Church). But even with the illustration of the Church as the bride–brides are mistreated. The way the Church is treated today by its leaders, congregation, supporters, and critics really makes you wonder how sincere we love our God…because to love Him is to serve Him wholeheartedly. I think instead of concentrating on when society deems one ready or not to get married (because, historically, women did marry not too long after puberty), a better barometer is to observe one’s prayer life (if it exists), relationship with God (if there is one), and obedience to His Word.

    What God puts together, no man will take it down. So if a marriage ends up demising, then it is possible God didn’t put the couple together. Only time will reveal.

    Comment by missify — September 6, 2008 @ 4:29 pm | Reply

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