The Loudmouth Protestant

March 12, 2009

Here’s My F*ckit List

Filed under: randomness — nickisym @ 1:56 pm
Tags: ,

I am in the mood to be a bit irreverent today and one of my favorite comedians/VH1 “Best Week Ever” personalities, Michael Ian Black, has given me great license to do so because of his latest creation, the “F**kit List.”  

The F-it list is diametrically opposed to the Bucket List in that it is all about the things you don’t care about doing before you die. It’s apropos for our current season because everyone is losing their jobs, their homes, their religion, their sanity. You name it, they are losing it. So I figure, why not give this a whirl and see what my own personal F-it list would look like.

Disclaimer: I don’t actually not care about doing these things, I just wanted to come down from the heavenlies and be some earthly good. Besides didn’t the scripture say I should mourn with those who mourn and laugh with those who laugh. I am just being obedient.

So here is the Loudmouth Protestant’s F**kit List:

1. Getting a Master’s degree in anything. Why at a time like this would I actually spend money I don’t have on a degree that may not actually guarantee that upon graduation I will get a better job than I have now?

2. Getting married. It’s a nice concept, spending the rest of my life with some fine piece of man and having beautiful babies, but I’m selfish and don’t like sharing beds, food or space with other people.

3. Traveling to Croatia. Beautiful island but what’s so beautiful about it when you have no money to get there?

4. Getting published in a major magazine that I didn’t already work for. Fame and fortune, who needs it? I prefer my humble life as it is now.

5. Becoming an on-air personality on the network that Michael Ian Black is an on-air personality for. What’s the point? They have their fill of black women on-air. I am sure they already reached their quota.

6. Going to one of Obama’s private concerts. At least not until the recession is over–and note to Obama: Stop with the concerts and cocktail parties and get to work.

7. Gain a love for old-school hip-hop. Who cares? I’m new-school all the way.

8. Have this blog be read by more than a handful of people. Be a lurker. I don’t care. Don’t comment, it makes no difference to me. I want to be an outcast in the blogosphere forever and want no one to respect the fact that I am a great writer and a beautiful mind. Sleep on me. Please.

I’ll think up more as the days go by, I’m sure. This exercise was actually kind of cathartic. It took the pressure off of acheiving great things in my life since it seems like it won’t happen anyways.

And I digress. If you are so compelled, share your list with me.



  1. HA! “Sleep on me. Please” I can sooo see ur face on this! I haven’t fully thought of mine, but I do have a couple:

    1. Meeting Common–like…no comment…just so over the fact that he lives AROUND THE CORNER and I have YET to “bump” into him (and I have walked in almost every gym in BK).

    2. Trying to get on America’s Next Top Model–NOW THEY WANT TO HAVE A COMPETITION FOR PEOPLE 5’7….GREAT! I’m only 28!

    3. Letting Halle Berry know how I feel about “Monsters Ball”–whatever, you won…congrats (nasty…).

    4. Getting back to 115lbs–thick is the NEW IT!

    5. Wanting to get rid of every LACEFRONT I see….(actually…I STILL may send a letter to Beyonce).

    …ahhhhhh…that was a lil therapeutic!

    Comment by missify — March 12, 2009 @ 2:05 pm | Reply

  2. I’m a lurker…sorry!

    Comment by jazztheologian — March 12, 2009 @ 11:31 pm | Reply

    • No worries Jazz Theologian, I lurk on yours as well. Plus, I think I can take you out of the lurker category when you comment on at least two post or more.

      Comment by loudmouthprotestant — March 12, 2009 @ 11:58 pm | Reply

  3. I’m a lurker too, Nicole. You are a great writer. first comment. I might try this more often.

    Comment by Chevon — March 13, 2009 @ 1:30 pm | Reply

    • The lurkers are coming out to roost! I love it.

      Comment by loudmouthprotestant — March 13, 2009 @ 1:43 pm | Reply

  4. Hi ! 😉
    I am Piter Kokoniz. Just want to tell, that I like your blog very much!
    And want to ask you: is this blog your hobby?
    Sorry for my bad english:)

    Comment by PiterKokoniz — April 7, 2009 @ 11:01 pm | Reply

    • Hi Piter, thanks for stopping by. I guess you can call this blog my hobby. But more than that, I love writing and this blog allows me to avail myself to doing so at my leisure on topics that really matter to me and that I think will really speak to people–both the sacred and irreverent. I hope that you will stop by again soon and often after that. Be Blessed.

      Comment by loudmouthprotestant — April 7, 2009 @ 11:55 pm | Reply

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