The Loudmouth Protestant

April 29, 2010

I Want a BMW

The car

Bavarian Motor Works

and the person

Beautiful Man Worshipping

Don’t worry, I’m not coveting. Michelle can have him. I just needed the perfect example of a man worshipping. And I’m not reneging on my word last week about looking for love versus a black man, Barack just happened to be the best of my search for a man in worship. Well, maybe not the best, but he’s Barack and that’s enough, plus he’s not just a black man and we all know that by now. Anyways, God knows my heart and the desires of it, a BMW 7 series and a beautiful man worshipping. Just saying God. Speaking those things…That’s all.

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April 27, 2010

Hanson Over Heartbreak

Filed under: entertainment,randomness,Uncategorized — nickisym @ 2:41 pm
Tags: ,

Yeah I know, I’m supposed to be posting about how to quickly mend a broken heart, but this took precedence. Can anyone explain to me why something like this would still happen in the year 2010? What is the world coming to?

Seriously, have they had another hit since “MMM Bop”? Who is sending their children to scream over mid to late 20 year old men? The magic of their hey day wore off when their voices got deep, they cut their hair, got married and started procreating. I just don’t understand…I think my heart just got broken, again. 😦 I need to pray, everyone does so that this doesn’t happen again.

April 26, 2010

A Song for the Brokenhearted

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

I felt compelled to share this verse and the song below because in my own circle there are people dealing with broken hearts and crushed spirits. I myself am on the other side of a broken heart and a crushed spirit and I can confidently say that if it had not been for the Lord who was on my side through the broken heart and crushed spirit, I might not even be able to deliver this message. But, I thank God that He didn’t let me mourn my loss for very long. Everytime I am tempted to be wistful and sad God quickens my spirit and says, “No no no babygirl, I need you to keep moving forward.” And I am moving forward. He’s been like a parent who keeps encouraging their child to get up after they’ve fallen off the bike–or even fallen when they are trying to learn how to walk. I have more to share about how I got over, but for now I will share this song that has ministered to me on countless occasions. I hope that it will minister to you too.

Check back tomorrow for my post on how to quickly mend a broken heart.

April 22, 2010

Dear Successful Black Woman

I watched you last night on Nightline talking about how you can’t find a black man and I felt sorry for you. I felt sorry for you because I feel like you are beating a dead horse on this matter of not being able to find a black man. It started out that black women couldn’t find a good black man and then you went and added that you’re successful and you think because of your success black men are intimidated and as such your success protracts your singleness. I think you err in your perspective on the state of black men for black women and let me share with you why.

Now that you are successful, you talk a lot about that success. While making partner at your law firm, getting your PhD, leading a corporation, designing your own fashion line, hosting your own television show, and running the world around you at large is a great thing, it by no means defines you and makes you more of a great catch for the black man you are looking for. Your acquisition of positions of power doesn’t automatically translate to you becoming the woman of some man’s dreams. Who will care about your success if you have a hard heart and don’t even know how to love a man because all you know is your work? It is incredible that we, as black women, can finally rise through the ranks and run businesses and get the corner office, but remember, black men are doing the same thing, so there are very few intimidated by your success. And, if they are intimidated by your success, that’s their personal problem and insecurity that they need to deal with and your red flag that you need not worry about having a relationship with a man who prefers to be intimidated by your success rather than celebrate it.  But on the other hand,  maybe they are turned off by your glorifying your success more than who you are as a person. You are not your career. Seriously. None of us are our careers, so we all need to get out of this habit of using our jobs to validate who we are because clearly jobs are here today and gone tomorrow.  I once listened to a man tell me why he loves women. He talked about how we smell, the curvature of our bodies, our softness, the way we touch, our voices, our spirits, how we move…nowhere in there did he mention anything about our jobs, he was more impressed with how God created us. It is who we are as women that makes us beautiful and attractive to a man, any man. Sure he wants us to handle business but he doesn’t want that business to be what we use to define ourselves. The Proverbs 31 woman handled her business, but it’s the way she handled it that made her a woman to be praised. She wasn’t wagging her finger and talking about what she did, she just did it and took care of her home and most importantly, loved God.

But your success, isn’t really the issue here. What gave me pause when I watched you last night is that you were so intent on complaining about not getting a black man that you said nothing about getting love. The black man is not the issue, it’s your concept of love that is the issue. What you want is love. What you don’t realize is love might not be with a black man. It might be with a white man, Asian man, Indian man, Hispanic man….And that’s what so sad about this entire discourse on the lack of black men for successful black women. We are raking our brothers through the coals while not realizing that all of us are not meant to marry a black man. Yes, many of us want to be with a black man, it is our ideal. But we don’t not live in ideality, we live in reality. The reality is that we are all looking for love and that is the heart of this matter. It’s not about a black man or a black woman, it’s about two people finding each other and finding love with each other. But to find love we have to take the limits off of it. And to take it one step further, many of us are believing God for our mate, and if we are believing Him for a mate, how do we figure restricting our Boaz to a black man is helping God do what He does best? God knows what is best for you. For some of you, best might be a black man. But maybe for others, best might be a white man. And yet for others, best might be by yourself because there is so much work–not professional work, but vocational work or self work–that God has for you to do that He’s going to need you to be single for a little while longer than you anticipated. Black women, if what we want is love and we are trusting God to bring it to us, then we are going to have to do better at surrendering ourselves to what that love may be and what it may look like. We have to stop talking about not being able to find a good black man or a black man period and talk about finding love. I know in my heart what you want is love and I know that if you stopped limiting your thoughts on how that love is packaged you might actually be in love.

We have to stop giving Nightline, Dateline, 20/20, Newsweek, Essence, etc fodder for stories that are old news. Clearly with all of the time we’ve spent talking about our singleness and the lack of good black men the statistics still haven’t risen in our favor. Because of that, I implore you to start pointing the finger at yourself and stop pointing it at black men. Yeah, they carry part of the blame, but the amount might be minute compared to how we play a role in our protracted singleness. It’s time to be real with ourselves and talk about what we really want. We want love. I know I want love and I want it however it comes to me by God’s hand. I declare, “I’m not looking for a black man, I am looking for love.” The latter has far more permanence than the former, after all, God is love and He is forever. I’m trying to find my forever, aren’t you?

April 21, 2010

A Message to the Subway Preachers

I haven’t had the pleasure of spotting this during my commute yet, but I do have to say that I cosign with the message. I know what you are thinking, “Aren’t you pro-spreading the Gospel?” To which I will answer, “Of course I am.” But, what you should also know is in my nearly eight years of riding the subways of the New York City Transit Authority I have yet to see a subway preacher yield any candidates for salvation or deliverance as a result of their screaming that everyone is going to hell with gasoline drawls on. Subway preaching is almost as effective as the people who stand with the stoic look on their faces with a Watchtower in one hand and an Awake in the other, translation not effective. While I respect the effort of the early morning/late night sermon, I’m not sure I can get with condemning people to hell before you show them what life in Christ looks like. I won’t carry on with this discourse any longer, but I will leave you with this poem that is oft quoted. I think this is a good message to give to the subway prophets.

I’d Rather See A Sermon

Edgar A. Guest

I’d rather see a sermon

than hear one any day;

I’d rather one should walk with me

than merely tell the way.

The eye’s a better pupil

and more willing than the ear,

Fine counsel is confusing,

but example’s always clear;

And the best of all preachers

are the men who live their creeds,

For to see good put in action

is what everybody needs.

I soon can learn to do it

if you’ll let me see it done;

I can watch your hands in action,

but your tongue too fast may run.

And the lecture you deliver

may be very wise and true,

But I’d rather get my lessons

by observing what you do;

For I might misunderstand you

and the high advice you give,

But there’s no misunderstanding

how you act and how you live.

April 16, 2010

Take a Look at this Crucifix

Filed under: randomness,recent news — nickisym @ 9:48 am
Tags: , ,

Take a Good Look at this Crucifix

I came across this image of a new crucifix that has made its home in an Oklahoma church. As beautiful and wonderful as it is, some congregants have a problem with it and they have even left the parish because of it. Having looked at the image and been assaulted with the headline that came with the article that inspired me to write this post, I could see why people are upset. But, having taken a step back, I wonder if this is a case of a perverse generation of people–i.e. all those angry congregants are actually closet freaks. Or, is this a case of a perverted maker–the artist or whatever you call people who make crucifixes had a little trick up his sleeve.

So I’m curious, what do you see when you look at this crucifix and who do you think is to blame, the people or the maker?

April 15, 2010

“Everybody Gets Theirs Except Me”

Filed under: God,life,love,work — nickisym @ 4:44 pm
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I went through a rough patch in life during the first quarter of this year. I experienced the highs of a new man in my life and then the lows of his departure. The highs of coming close to a realization of my purpose in God and the lows of the uncertainties about how to walk forward. The highs of being happy and the lows of being sad. What has taken me from these highs to the lows is a central theme that has been pervading my life, “Everyone gets theirs except me.” A dear friend pointed out to me that she has seen that theme persist in my life. She told me that I’m always talking about someone getting theirs except me. She shared this on the heels of a breakdown I had last night because I felt that everyone was getting theirs except for me. The man I met earlier this year got his when he started seeing someone else not too long after deciding things wouldn’t work with me. Someone else (multiple someone elses) got theirs at work when they got promotions and not me. As it pertains to my purpose, someone got more resources to move forward than I did. This feeling got the best of me last night and reared its ugly head, sending me into a place filled with tears of sorrow and crippling me to the point where I couldn’t even pray. I just turned out the lights and went to sleep.

I’ve always felt passed over in life. It started at a very early age when I was given up for adoption. Later in life this notion of being given up would manifest itself into “never feeling good enough” and  “always being left behind” by people in life. I felt everyone was getting theirs except me. The marriage, the job, the money, the success, the acknowledgment, etc, etc. But I’ve had this feeling for far too long and now I realize, thanks to my dear friend, that I can no longer walk through life holding this against others, myself and most importantly, my God. The more I complain about others getting theirs except me, the more I discount what God is doing in my life and how He is doing it.

Someone else may get the guy while I remain single, but I have no idea whether God is preparing me for something better than what I had or if I was even ready for that man in particular. Maybe that is just not what God had for me but He needed to show me what isn’t for me so that when He sends what is for me I would know better. God protects us and He prepares us.

Someone else may get promoted before me but maybe it’s not for me to be promoted. Maybe there is more that is required of me in my current role before I am promoted. Maybe if I get a promotion I’d get too comfortable or lose the humility I had when I was in a lower position. Maybe giving me a promotion wouldn’t allow me to truly step out on faith in other areas of my life because I’d just be too comfortable in my new position. Maybe God just needs to show me that promotion doesn’t come from the east or the west but from above. He knows what’s best for us.

Someone gives me up for adoption but what I don’t realize is that being given up is the best thing that has ever happened in my life–after Jesus of course. If I wasn’t given up, I might not have the life and love I have right now for the parents who raised me in a very natural way. Being given up was not about my biological mother getting hers. Well, in a way it was. It was about her getting her life in a better place and getting her priorities in line enough to know she wasn’t ready to take care of me. She couldn’t give me her best, but she knew that if she gave me up, I could be better positioned to get the best. God knows all about giving things up to make things better. He gave His only begotten son so that we would not perish and have everlasting life. Of course He knew that my being given up would only lead to a better life. My not getting the man would leave me open to receive His best man. My not getting the promotion positions me for a greater opportunity beyond what a job can offer.

“Everyone gets theirs except for me”, will no longer be the theme of my life. Instead it will be how I remember to give thanks to God. It will be how I remember that in other people getting theirs, I must take note of the fact that God has given each of us a separate path to reach our goals in Him. It will be how I remember that in being passed over for a promotion my patience is being perfected in God for what He wants to promote me to. It will be how I will remember not to hold grudges against those who gave me up because in giving me up they have left me open to receive something better. It will be how I remember to give God all the honor, the praise and the glory for withholding things from me because only He knows when I’ll be ready for the man, for the promotion and for His purpose. Only then will I be able to say, “Everyone got theirs, but I got mine, in God’s time.”

April 13, 2010

I’m Coming Back!

Filed under: life,randomness — nickisym @ 1:25 pm

After a dryspell on the blog, I wanted to let everyone know that I am coming back with more frequent posting starting tomorrow. I’m going to ramp things back up to a couple times a week and then hopefully be back on a daily schedule. I had alot on my plate the past few months but I’ve cleared some things off of it, turned my plate under and now I can see much clearer and my experiences have sharpened my pen. So I’ll be back to my good old loudmouth Protestant self!

Coming Soon…

Redeeming Heartbreak

Quote of the Day: Subway Angel

In the Words of Satan

Being “Out” In Church

and whatever else tickles my fancy. 🙂

See you all tomorrow. I’ve missed you.

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